Day 13

Day 13: Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

Hum, there's a lot I want to change, so here's a few things...

• my exercise habits
• my eating habits
• my motivation
• my discipline
• my confidence
• my self-control
• my jealousy
• my impatience
• my lack of contentment
• my worrying
• my fears

And the list could go ON and ON. I think everyone always feels like they need to change something. And I am a fan of change. well sometimes....other times not so much. Like friends moving away that I won't get to see every week. not a good change. but hair color change=good :) which I will be doing in a few weeks! gonna be a brownie again! And losing weight change would be fantastic. But some change is VERY hard to do. Changing your whole mentality of how you view something or someone=hard. I'm learning that only God can change you, because I just can't do it on my own. He has to transform our minds and the way they think. And it's not an overnight thing, unfortunately. I wish I could just wake up and be a size 6, not worry about my future, jump to do homework a week before it's due, or be content with everything I have in life and not want more. But it doesn't work that way. Change is hard. The process sucks, but the end result is worth it. So change is good, eventually :) So I'll leave you with this verse I read today in the Message that stuck with me. I don't know if it really has anything to do with change, maybe, but I really liked it :) Enjoy!

Lamentations 3:22-33

22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

^31-33Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way:

Baking, Goodbyes, and Woes of Womanhood

So yesterday I wrote about those smore's cookies. Yup, made them tonight. I was trying to kind of tweek them a little bit because I didn't want to put a graham cracker under the cookie. So I crunched up some graham cracker and put it in the batter. Oh and was that batter good.

Ah, I just LOVE cookie dough. I could have sat and ate that whole bowl. I did have my fair share of it. I enjoy the cookie dough so much more than the actual cookie. yummm! Ok so I was super excited because the dough was delish and they looked great. But then when I made them they kind of fell apart... :( SO I had to end up using the graham crackers on the bottom and then they turned out MUCH better :)

I am bringing them to class tomorrow and I hope the kids I tutor will like them! It's our last day tomorrow. As much as I hate going to class

and making lesson plans, I am actually going to miss those kids! Especially my 6th grader who

has started opening up to me! He actually talks to me now and laughs! And my precious 1st grader who I adore...don't want him to go either :( This is just the week of goodbyes and I don't like it one bit. My favorite little family, the Graves, are moving to Orlando on Saturday. At least I know that I will see them again and they are only an hour and a half away, but still. Where will Lindy and I watch Bachelor or Grey's Anatomy, who will I beat in Bananagrams, whose kids can I steal to love on and get a kid fix, who will we visit when we're out at Barnies, and who will I find to replace them? No one. Sarah, Kris, Reagan, Tristan, and Camden are truly one of a kind and will be greatly missed here in Gainesville. I'm also hoping that it will only be a year long separation and I will move to Orlando next year :) hehe We'll see what God has in store for me, but I know that God has great plans for the Graves family in Orlando! I love ya'll!! :)

These are the crazy, fun, adorable, silly, lovable Graves Kids I love so much :)

So today is day 12 and my challenge is to write about what wears you out as a woman. Well, humph a lot of things wear me out as a woman! Makeup, hair, clothes, emotions, hormones, weight, and just life haha Honestly it just wears me out to be a woman! I can't pinpoint any certain thing. This week alone I have probably complained about 'womanly' things 20 times or more considering it is that happy time of the month. not. (that explains the need for chocolate chip cookie dough, not that cookie dough needs any explanation) So yes, being a woman is hard and sometimes I wish we all had it as easy as the men do! But most of the time it is great to be a woman! I am a woman, hear me roar! ;)

Recipes!!

So folks, this is the day I have been waiting for since I started this thing! Day 11:Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out. Pictures Please! Yes!! My specialty! I LOVE cooking, especially baking. I would bake every day if my wallet and stomach allowed me too! I really can't choose which recipes to share, SO I am going to share my all time favorite dessert and a 2 desserts that I haven't made yet, but look delicious! I will be making them soon, and maybe ya'll can too :)

So the first one is none other than my Peanut Butter Pie! If you haven't had this pie, then you are seriously missing out in life. This pie has won we not 1, or 2, but 3 bake-offs and I've even had a marriage proposal from a guy who tried it. Yes, ladies, the w

ay to a mans heart is through his stomach. Although, that hasn't proven to work out so well for me yet. But ONE DAY, my man will appreciate my skills in and out of the kitchen ;)

This pie is super easy to make and always goes over great at parties! So here's the recipe!

Ingredients:

1 Baked Pie Shell- I like graham cracker crust but you can use any pie crust you want!

1 large instant vanilla pudding

2 cups milk

1 cup confectioners sugar

½ cup peanut butter

8 oz. cool whip

Directions:

Using 2 knives cut peanut butter into sugar until well blended and crumbly. Beat pudding mix and milk together and put in refrigerator for 1 hour. Put crumbly mixture in bottom of pie shell, but save some to put on top of pie. Spoon in pudding and spread evenly. Cover completely with all of cool whip. Sprinkle the reserved crumbs on top of cool whip. Keep refrigerated until ready to serve. If you want to put in a 9 x13 pan double all ingredients.

And here it is, in all it's deliciousness :)

Ok, so that is my favorite recipe! Now onto more fun goodies! These are 2 recipes I just found earlier today that I REALLY want to make. The first is a Smore's Cake. Doesn't this just look like yummy goodness all wrapped in a nice layer of chocolate?

I found this on my new favorite site, Pintrest! Go check it out, Uh-Mazing! But anyways, here is a link to the girls blog that has this recipe on it! http://fatgirltrappedinaskinnybody.blogspot.com/2011/06/ultimate-smore-anniversary-cake.html

Going along with the smores theme because I love anything chocolate and marshmallows, are smore's cookies! These look to die for too! I think I am going to make them on Thursday for my last day with my tutee's at school! I told him I would make brownie cookie bars but these look SO much better! I also found these on pintrest and this girls blog has some really great recipes! I got like 4 other ones on here! The Cookie Dough Dip looks fantastic as well! So here is her blog and the recipe! http://fahrenheit350.blogspot.com/2009/08/rain-or-shine.html

Don't they look like ooey gooey heaven? yummm!

I hope ya'll enjoythese! I could seriously post every day about baking! How fun would that be! :) I'd love to hear about anybody else's favorite recipes or just something fun and new you tried! :) Happy Baking ya'll :)

Lessons I'm learning

Day 10: What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mother, friend, or just woman in general?

Well, lately I have been learning that I just need to let go of things! I tend to hold onto things for a LONG time, whether it be feelings, relationships, or just stuff! All of it is just weighing me down. It's very hard for me to just let things go. I mean I liked the same boy for all 4 years of high school and never let it go, even when he made it clear that he didn't like me in that way and we were "better as friends." Of course I still don't like him, but when a friend brought him up today it just brings back all those feelings of rejection and all the other insecurities. Why is it so hard to let these things go? It was YEARS ago and should have absolutely no hold over me. I don't dwell on it every day, but when someone brings it up, I can't help but feel like that 16 year old girl again. It's very easy to push this all aside because I don't ever see this person and this is the first time I've thought about him or this situation in like over a year. But it just reminded me today that I haven't really let it go completely.

I was also reminded of my lack of letting go in church today. During worship I was praying that I would let certain things in my life go and not be distracted by anything. Well then guess what? One of those distractions was at church! It's easy to push things away when you don't see them or deal with them. Not so hard when you actually see them. But I am learning over and over again that I just have to let all of these feelings and basically just crap that has taken over my life go. I am giving it to God because I sure don't want it. I am done dealing with it. I am done letting it consume my every waking thought. I am done. I am starting tomorrow with my first step of letting go of the stuff. And I mean actual stuff. I am going through my papers and desk and organizing everything. Time to de-clutter my life, so what better way to begin than with my room. Then I plan to go to Barnies and spend some time praying about the other things I need to let go of. I am quickly realizing the more time I spend with God, the more I am able to let go and feel ok about it. I can't run everything in my life and I don't want to try. God knows exactly what he is doing. If I don't let go of some of the things that my heart if full of, I can't make room for other great stuff! And I want the good stuff :) I want all of you to be full of good stuff too! So if anything is getting you down and you just feel like you need to let it go, then DO IT! We'll do it together! :) Love ya'll!

Virtuous

Well, this past week I did really well on my exercise/eating right plan. I worked out 3 days this week and I lost 2 lbs. THEN I came home for the weekend! Lindy and I brought our friend Caroline home with us and of course we took her out to all our favorite restaurants. And I hate going to a pace that I love to eat and getting a measly salad, and I love salad! But going to one of my favorite restaurants and getting salad or something I don't really like, but is healthy, just seems silly :) So I probably gained those 2 pounds back. But not to get me down, I'll be back on the horse when I get back into town! I just need to never leave Gainesville and I'd do fine! haha

I have been severely slacking with my project 31. oops. And I've been putting it off because I don't really know how to answer today's question. So here goes...

What virtues do you value in yourself?

Well.....I just looked up virtues (let's be real, who really knows what that is :) and it says moral excellence, conforming one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles, or chastity. So here's a random stream of thought of virtues I value in myself:

I'm a Christian and conform my life values to those of Christ's. I live according to his word and Jesus is my everything.

I'm old fashioned. You know all those jokes about women being in the kitchen and doing their duties of cooking/cleaning? Yeah, those don't bother me. I will be totally content being a housewife and taking care of the kids and having dinner ready when my man comes home from work.

I'm a virgin and proud of it. I will stay that way until the day I get married.

I can laugh about anything and can make people laugh, not by telling jokes or anything, but just by being my crazy self!

My love language is baking.

I'm mostly always upbeat.

I think family and friends are one of the biggest parts of my life, apart from Jesus.

I still believe in fairy-tales.

Yet, I know that life, marriage, kids, etc. will be HARD work and not always roses.

So I could go on and on. But that's all for now. Love you guys! :)

Fed up

I have been living in a state of feeling fed up and disappointed with myself for the past few weeks. I have everything I need to succeed right in front of me and I'm not using any of it. That's like a teacher giving you an answer to a question on the test and saying no thanks I think the answer is c, not b. Well, you're getting that question wrong! Why do we do this? We know it's right, yet we don't do it.

Paul says it perfectly in Romans 7 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." I seem to always choose to do what I don't want to do.

I want to lose weight, but why do I chose to eat the wrong things and not exercise. I know I can do it, because I have done it before. I have lost 30 pounds before and because I am lazy I have gained about 10 pounds back. I know how to lose the weight, I just don't do it. Isn't that just stupid? Yes, it is. I always say, I'm gonna start on Monday. Well Monday rolls around and I start out right, but if I slip up once I throw it all away for the week. I was thinking back to a friends blog I commented on a while ago and I gave him some advice that I really need to follow. I said that if you mess up you can't let that get to you because tomorrow is a new day and you just start fresh. I have not been living that. I have been living for those dreaded Mondays where time and time again I disappoint myself. I am fed up with it. I'm not living for those Mondays anymore. I will change and I will not be a disappointment anymore. I am worth it. I will make a daily habit of getting up and going to the gym. I will choose to eat right and not let my emotions control my eating. I will achieve my goal. And I won't do it through my power, but His. Lord knows I can't do this alone. I know that I can do all things through him who gives me strength. So look out world, here I come! Tomorrow will be a Monday unlike all the rest.

On another note, today is day 8 of the project beauty challenge! :)

Day 8: Have a beauty secret( e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!

Oh man, this one is kind of hard, but I thought of a few!

1. Use honey on your face as a mask. It is really sticky and a mess, but it makes your face feel super smooth afterward! I find that it works best to put it on like 5 minutes before you're going to get in the shower and then just wash it off in the shower. It's more messy trying to wash it off in the sink. I end up drenching myself in the process!

2. 2 words: Dr. Scholls! Buy them. Use them. Love them. They make heels so much more bearable. I love the gel ones. You can wear heels for hours and not feel like your feet are on fire!

3. Change shampoo/conditioner every time you buy a new one. Your hair gets used to the same one if you use it over and over. I have about 3 or 4 different kinds that I rotate throughout. Every time I change to another brand I feel like I have different, better hair!

Encouraging friends

I am really excited about this day of the Project 31 Challenge! Today's goal is to write a letter encouraging another beautiful woman. So here's to you looper :) Sorry in advance for all the pictures but there was just too many to choose from! :)

Taking in back to the days :) haha This was high school sometime! Sorry I had to bust out the braces, but we just look so young! haha

Lindy,

Where do I even being? It all started with Lauren's 14th birthday party, I think? Us sharing a chair and bonding over "bunny" and devil in a blue dress! haha You are and always will be my best friend. I don't even know how we went through 1 1/2 years of college living 4 1/2 hours away! You understand me like no one else does. You know EVERYTH

ING about me and yet still somehow love me. You are my constant support and always there for me. You put up with my off key singing of the wrong lyrics and my loopy crazy nights, Eleka nahmen nahmen, just had to ;) You will clean my entire apartment just because you want to. You make me laugh like nothing else. I don't think we can be together a

nd not laugh, just impossible. We may be annoying and giggly sometimes, but that's just us and I wouldn't change it for the world :) I love that you analyze every little thing, which can be good and bad ;) We share a love of Barnies, which is reason enough to love anybody :) I love that you just understand me. I can just look at you and you know what I'm thinking. I love that we will always have a special place in our hearts for JB ;) I can't really ever think of a time where we had a huge fight. We just get along all the time. I hate being away from you for an extended amount of

time. I don't even know if we've ever gone a whole day without talking. Okay, jk when I'm o

n a cruise. But that doesn't count because I didn't have internet or phone access so it wasn't by choice :) I know that we will be friends for a very long time and I can't wait for the day that we can raise our families together. Which brings me t

o another point. I especially can't wait until I can meet the lucky man who gets to marry you! I pray for him (and mine of course) a lot. I know that God has the perfect man already picked out and he is just preparing him now for you. We just have to wait a little bit longer for him to come! Like we used to say in high school "the longer the wait, the better the mate!" :) I'm still holding on to that statement! Maybe God has some twins or brothers picked out for us ;) haha We can only

dream right? I love you friend. You are a strong, beautiful, funny, intelligent, kind, giving, compassionate, and loving person. You are going to make a fantastic wife and mother one day. I can't wait to be around to see all that God has planned for your life. You are truly stunning and beautiful inside and out!! LOVE YOU! :) And here's to hoping your mom's prediction will come true ;)

Family, Fun, and Fireworks :)

Well friends, I am feeling incredibly blessed this weekend. It has been an amazing 4 days! Went from one celebration to the next. My brother got married on Saturday! YAY! The wedding was so wonderful! I am very happy to have gained another sister! I can't believe it's all over! They are off to Puerto Rico tomorrow for the honeymoon! We had lots of fun the next day with both families at the beach. I tried ocean kayaking and it was so much fun! I will definitely be doing that again! Then we celebrated fourth of July and my other sister-in-laws birthday! I had actually had two fourth of July celebrations! One with my family and one with Lindy's :) I just love fireworks!! I can still hear them going on outside my house at 12:30am! Fireworks can make anyone happy, seriously. Try to be mad and watch fireworks. You won't stay that way for long. I am SO not looking forward to going back to gainesville and class tomorrow. I just want to stay at the beach forever! I am in denial that I have homework due tomorrow. I don't exactly know when it is going to get done, but ya know I'll think about that, eh about an hour before class :) So instead of doing that dreaded homework I am uploading pictures to facebook and updating all you wonderful blogger friends about my fantastic weekend! And while I'm at it, here are some of my favorite pictures from this weekend :)

The Fike Kids, old and new :)

Addie and the puppies! She ADORES them! :)

Sorry I haven't posted this whole weekend on my Project 31, but I've been a little busy :) Today's questions is Has the World's definition of beauty ever jaded you. The answer is a big fat ridiculous yes. I don't know if anyone can say no to this question. Whenever we look at ourselves and see something wrong and complain about it and wish we were a different way we are comparing ourselves to what the world has defined as beauty. I think that it is a bunch of bologna that the world shows these woman all airbrushed and stick thin on t.v. and magazines. Real women don't look like that. Period. Real women got some curves friends. I wish that our world was like it used to be, I think during the Baroque or Renaissance when "big" women were the thing. You know you see those pictures of women that to us look overweight compared to current society's views, but that was what was popular during that time. A woman with a figure was to be envied. But nope, not like that anymore. I do let the worlds view of beauty get to me sometimes, but regardless it doesn't matter what the heck the world says. All that matters is that God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. He made me curves and all and I am not going to starve myself to look like those models on t.v. or criticize myself because I don't look like that. Who wants to be a size zero anyways, that isn't a real size ;) So embrace the way you look! Yes, I think we should be healthy and Lord knows I do have some weight to lose, but I am not doing it because the world says I am fat. I am doing it to get healthy and to take care of my body. I want to feel better and live a long happy life :)

Phew, done with that rant ;) Some of these questions get me going! Love you friends and Happy Fourth of July!