Well, lately I have been learning that I just need to let go of things! I tend to hold onto things for a LONG time, whether it be feelings, relationships, or just stuff! All of it is just weighing me down. It's very hard for me to just let things go. I mean I liked the same boy for all 4 years of high school and never let it go, even when he made it clear that he didn't like me in that way and we were "better as friends." Of course I still don't like him, but when a friend brought him up today it just brings back all those feelings of rejection and all the other insecurities. Why is it so hard to let these things go? It was YEARS ago and should have absolutely no hold over me. I don't dwell on it every day, but when someone brings it up, I can't help but feel like that 16 year old girl again. It's very easy to push this all aside because I don't ever see this person and this is the first time I've thought about him or this situation in like over a year. But it just reminded me today that I haven't really let it go completely.
I was also reminded of my lack of letting go in church today. During worship I was praying that I would let certain things in my life go and not be distracted by anything. Well then guess what? One of those distractions was at church! It's easy to push things away when you don't see them or deal with them. Not so hard when you actually see them. But I am learning over and over again that I just have to let all of these feelings and basically just crap that has taken over my life go. I am giving it to God because I sure don't want it. I am done dealing with it. I am done letting it consume my every waking thought. I am done. I am starting tomorrow with my first step of letting go of the stuff. And I mean actual stuff. I am going through my papers and desk and organizing everything. Time to de-clutter my life, so what better way to begin than with my room. Then I plan to go to Barnies and spend some time praying about the other things I need to let go of. I am quickly realizing the more time I spend with God, the more I am able to let go and feel ok about it. I can't run everything in my life and I don't want to try. God knows exactly what he is doing. If I don't let go of some of the things that my heart if full of, I can't make room for other great stuff! And I want the good stuff :) I want all of you to be full of good stuff too! So if anything is getting you down and you just feel like you need to let it go, then DO IT! We'll do it together! :) Love ya'll!
Oh my gosh! Get out of my head Jen! I tend to hold on as well. And same deal, I liked this boy and though my feelings for him are gone, when he is brought up I sometimes feel... strange, for lack of a better word. It's easy not to think of him b/c I don't have to see him.
ReplyDeleteBut God has helped me TONS to move on this year :-) And seriously, I can't waste my emotions on a boy who won't be with me when I'm aging (if God doesn't come before then)
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