Friday, July 13, 2012

God's laughing at me

You know that saying "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans?" Well, God is sitting up in heaven right now peeing his pants from laughing at me. I have often told God what I want and how I want it! HA! yeah right. So in high school my "plan" was to go to college and get my MRS. er I mean education degree, (at least one of those happened). The big almighty plan was to get married the summer I graduated from school, aka this summer, and my husband and I find jobs and move somewhere. Well, alas I don't have a rock on my finger, nor am I anywhere close. So after I decided that plan wasn't working I decided the new plan was to move to Orlando with Lindy and we both get teaching jobs and live together like we did this year. We'd meet new people, do fun stuff in a new place, and hopefully find a husband since that didn't work out in college so well. Well, as I mentioned in my last blog I applied for 40 some jobs in Orlando and hadn't heard from ANY of them, and still haven't. So that plan was quickly going by the wayside.

Onto Plan C. I had been thinking about moving back to Melbourne for a few weeks so I thought why not, might as well go for it, BUT I didn't tell Lindy I was even thinking about this because we had both told each other repeatedly over the year "We are not moving back to Melbourne. We will not stay in Gainesville. We will not live with our parents again." See this is where God is not just chuckling a little, but bending over from his side hurting and peeing himself laughing. Because guess where I am currently writing this post from? My bedroom at my parents house in Melbourne. ha! AND guess where Lindy is? Living in Gainesville! (Sidenote: SO happy for her too and Gods plans for her life, BUT SOOO sad we won't be in the same town anymore and living together.) We are both doing all the things we swore to ourselves we weren't going to do. You would think I would be quite depressed by this turn of events, but miraculously I'm not. God may be laughing, but he is changing my heart in the process. I am excited to be back in Melbourne, a little nervous, but still excited. I'm excited to possibly have a job at a school I said I would never work at. Everything I thought I didn't want is exactly what I do want now. God changed my plans and my heart without me even realizing it.

You would think that I would understand now that I shouldn't make plans, because my plans seem to be the wrong ones, but even today I caught myself saying "maybe I won't have to move out of my parents house because I'll start dating someone and we'll get married soon and then I'll just move in with him" (See how my mind works, always goes to the marriage point) Lindy quickly told me "don't count on that, because chances are that may not be God's plan right now." Don't you hate when you're best friend is right? I am not counting on this as a"plan" but it would be nice if it happened :) And as quickly as I am typing this I am forming new plans in my head. hahaha What can I say, I am a planner! lol I guess it's not bad to have plans, but we can't set ourselves up to be disappointed when they don't work out exactly how we want them to. So far not many of the plans I have ever planned have come to pass. And you know what? IT'S OK! One of my all time favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jesus promises us that he has good plans for us. I don't know them, but he does. I wouldn't have ever chosen to be almost 23, single, and living at home. No way Jose. But that's God's plan for my life right now and I want his plans for my life way more than I want my plans. I am making it my daily prayer for my heart to become more like Christ's and for his will to become my will. I want what he wants for me, not what I want for myself. So I think my next "plan" is just to enjoy life and wait on God's plans and his perfect timing :) Sounds perfect to me!