Day 13

Day 13: Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

Hum, there's a lot I want to change, so here's a few things...

• my exercise habits
• my eating habits
• my motivation
• my discipline
• my confidence
• my self-control
• my jealousy
• my impatience
• my lack of contentment
• my worrying
• my fears

And the list could go ON and ON. I think everyone always feels like they need to change something. And I am a fan of change. well sometimes....other times not so much. Like friends moving away that I won't get to see every week. not a good change. but hair color change=good :) which I will be doing in a few weeks! gonna be a brownie again! And losing weight change would be fantastic. But some change is VERY hard to do. Changing your whole mentality of how you view something or someone=hard. I'm learning that only God can change you, because I just can't do it on my own. He has to transform our minds and the way they think. And it's not an overnight thing, unfortunately. I wish I could just wake up and be a size 6, not worry about my future, jump to do homework a week before it's due, or be content with everything I have in life and not want more. But it doesn't work that way. Change is hard. The process sucks, but the end result is worth it. So change is good, eventually :) So I'll leave you with this verse I read today in the Message that stuck with me. I don't know if it really has anything to do with change, maybe, but I really liked it :) Enjoy!

Lamentations 3:22-33

22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

^31-33Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way:

Fed up

I have been living in a state of feeling fed up and disappointed with myself for the past few weeks. I have everything I need to succeed right in front of me and I'm not using any of it. That's like a teacher giving you an answer to a question on the test and saying no thanks I think the answer is c, not b. Well, you're getting that question wrong! Why do we do this? We know it's right, yet we don't do it.

Paul says it perfectly in Romans 7 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." I seem to always choose to do what I don't want to do.

I want to lose weight, but why do I chose to eat the wrong things and not exercise. I know I can do it, because I have done it before. I have lost 30 pounds before and because I am lazy I have gained about 10 pounds back. I know how to lose the weight, I just don't do it. Isn't that just stupid? Yes, it is. I always say, I'm gonna start on Monday. Well Monday rolls around and I start out right, but if I slip up once I throw it all away for the week. I was thinking back to a friends blog I commented on a while ago and I gave him some advice that I really need to follow. I said that if you mess up you can't let that get to you because tomorrow is a new day and you just start fresh. I have not been living that. I have been living for those dreaded Mondays where time and time again I disappoint myself. I am fed up with it. I'm not living for those Mondays anymore. I will change and I will not be a disappointment anymore. I am worth it. I will make a daily habit of getting up and going to the gym. I will choose to eat right and not let my emotions control my eating. I will achieve my goal. And I won't do it through my power, but His. Lord knows I can't do this alone. I know that I can do all things through him who gives me strength. So look out world, here I come! Tomorrow will be a Monday unlike all the rest.

On another note, today is day 8 of the project beauty challenge! :)

Day 8: Have a beauty secret( e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!

Oh man, this one is kind of hard, but I thought of a few!

1. Use honey on your face as a mask. It is really sticky and a mess, but it makes your face feel super smooth afterward! I find that it works best to put it on like 5 minutes before you're going to get in the shower and then just wash it off in the shower. It's more messy trying to wash it off in the sink. I end up drenching myself in the process!

2. 2 words: Dr. Scholls! Buy them. Use them. Love them. They make heels so much more bearable. I love the gel ones. You can wear heels for hours and not feel like your feet are on fire!

3. Change shampoo/conditioner every time you buy a new one. Your hair gets used to the same one if you use it over and over. I have about 3 or 4 different kinds that I rotate throughout. Every time I change to another brand I feel like I have different, better hair!