Out with the old, in with the new!

Well friends 2011 is over! This year has been good in some ways and not so good in other ways. It's been a year of growth and change. Let's see I went on my first date, graduated from college, started grad school, gained a few really good new friends, taught 1st grade full time, learned how to become more independent by supporting myself financially, and had lots of fun memories with amazing friends and family. But 2011 has also been a lackluster year. I didn't lose as much weight as I hoped and looking back I could just kick myself for wasting the whole year. I could have handled some situations differently, but that's part of what has made me grow. I didn't spend nearly enough time with Jeaus this year. All of my really good friends with the exception of one has gotten engaged this year. I could not be more happy for these wonderful friends but honestly it hurt a little more each time another one got engaged. So this year was not good for contentment. And before I hear a speech from any of you reading this I know my time will come and God is going to bring me the perfect man in his timing. Most days I am confident in that reassurance but it's quite difficult to stay joyfully happy when all your friends are getting married and are so happy.it's like I'm watching them all start their lives with their husbands while I sit around and have to be content just waiting to start mine. And it's not just my friends. My brother got married this year so now I am the only single one in the family. It makes me feel left out when I'm with all my family. I sit at my family gatherings and I see my brothers and my parents so happy and in love and I want someone to share life with like that. And I am realizing that this post is making me seem like a little selfish girl who is just jealous of people getting exactly what she wants. And that is exactly what it is and it's terrible. I am jealous of everyone who has a man and I hate that. God does not like a jealous heart. I don't normally have any real resolutions for the new year. I always just say to loae weight. But this year I have a few specific things I really need to change and I am really going to press on to reach these goals this year. Sooo in 2012 I am going to: -work on my jealous heart -spend an hour a day with God -lose 50 pounds -stick to my cash only budget system No resolutions about a man. It's not my timing it's God's and I won't be pursuing any boy. If he likes me than he wil Pursue me like a dying man pursuing water in a dessert :) So by the end of 2012 I could still be single, dating someone, engaged, or heck even married! We shall see what this year brings. For now I am focusing on me and God. We're running this race together and if this is he year he decides to give me a running partner then great, but if not that's okay too and I'm not going to be mad or discontent because of what others have. :) I am really excited to see what this year will bring :) oh and another resolution: blog more :) :)