I went into this trip not exactly knowing what to expect. I had never been on a missions trip and none of us has been with this organization before either. The first day we got there, my whole team (at least us girls) were thinking "what the heck did we get ourselves into?" We had just rode a bus for 6 hours with no air conditioning on the bumpiest rockiest roads probably in all of Haiti. Meanwhile most all the other people on the bus had done this before and I just kept thinking why did any of them come back after this torture?? None of us asked each other how we were doing because we probably would have broken down at any point. For the first few days my team would joke with each other saying "oh next time we come we'll do this or do that" But we all knew there was no way we were coming back.
Well...that all started to change maybe 3 days into the trip. We started working with the orphanage girls and my heart obviously started melting. A lot of the kids can understand English but can't speak it and most of the older girls CAN speak English but choose not to...so annoying! lol But it's amazing how God is bigger than the language we speak. We somehow got to know these girls despite the language barrier and by the end of the trip I did not want to leave and could not wait to get back to Haiti to see my sweet girls again and tell them "Jezi remme ou!" The tent camping, the smelly bathrooms, the not so great food, the heat, and everything else I was not liking about Haiti seemed oh so insignificant compared to what the Lord was doing there with these kids and with me.
Every night we had devotions with everyone at the missions and one night we sang the song Oceans by Hillsong. I've sang this song many times, but this time it meant so much more than normal.
Sprit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger in he presence of my Savior
I will call upon your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
I definitely feel like the Lord lead me to where my trust is without borders in Haiti. In America I feel like it is so easy to just put God in a little box on the shelf and pull Him out when I need him. It's easy to feel like we don't need God. Sure I trust God, but I feel like I put limits, or borders, on his trust. But in Haiti, my trust has grown by leaps and bounds. There were so many things that I had to put my trust in the Lord for. I couldn't keep him in my little box anymore, and coming back to America he is not going back in that box!! I love the last few lines of this song, My soul will rest in your embrace, I am yours and You are mine. I really felt this sense of peace, like I really am the Lords and he is mine. I didn't have to worry about anything else, but just feeling secure and at rest in his presence.
I also learned a new song on this trip called Slow me Down Lord. And the song is in fact slow and drags a little, but I loved the words!
Slow me down oh Lord slow me down
Help my heart to hear Your sound
Speak into my life Lord speak now
Slow me down oh Lord slow me down
Clear my mind oh Lord clear my mind
Bring me peace that I cannot find
Take my worldly thoughts break my pride
Clear my mind oh Lord clear my mind
Wake my soul oh Lord wake my soul
With this mess I’ve made make me whole
Of this life called mine take control
Wake my soul oh Lord wake my soul
Slow me down oh Lord slow me down
Help my heart to hear Your sound
Speak into my life Lord speak now
Slow me down oh Lord, Slow me down
Oh lord, slow me down. I need this reminder every single stinkin day. It is SO easy to get caught up in life. In Haiti, I was forced to slow down. There was a lot of great ministry things we did each day but there was also a lot of down time in the evenings where I was able to slow down. I didn't have to think about work or bills. I didn't have to think about being lonely and wanting to find a husband. I was just surrounded by the Lord, doing his work with some other really great people.
This has become way longer than I have intended! Props if you've read all this way! I could say so much more about my time in Haiti, but I think that is enough for one night! I am so incredibly thankful for this trip and I cannot wait to get back to Haiti and love on my babies! Thank you Jesus for loving me so I could love others and tell them about you.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
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