Dream Big

    It's been a while friends! I sorta forget about my lovely little blogging world! There is SO much I could talk about that has been on my mind lately, a lot I can't share, but I do want to share something really important!! It has been my DREAM  to open up a cupcake shop. It has always been in the back of my head as something I would do later when I'm married and have kids, because of course I'll have more time then (yeah right). In the beginning I just though oh that sounds fun but didn't really think it would happen. WELL, over thanksgiving my dad (who doesn't know I have this dream) says to me "why don't you just forget teaching and open up a cupcake shop?" I told him that I actually had always thought of that and that sounded wonderful to me. My mom says oh yeah I'll help you bake and your dad can run the business side of it! How perfect, right? So lately my mind has been wandering to this idea. When I can't sleep I think about the shop and I dream about names, colors, displays, cupcake flavors and frosting ideas, to-go containers, logos, and a website! I mean I could spend hours day dreaming about it. Well it just so happens that my home town of good ole Melbourne, FL doesn't have a single cupcake shop and I just think that our we need a great one! I have found the most perfect little shop that is probably completely out of my price range :( I still went ahead and e-mailed somebody about how much it was to lease the shop...still waiting on a response. It already has a cute little pink awning out front and is in a prime spot for people to visit!

      Now this dream is so great, and for how excited I am about it, I also get equally depressed about it and talk myself out of it. What do I know about running a business, I can't even manage my personal finances. I'd have to take out a business loan when I already have student loans, is that something a crazy person would do? How do I even write a business proposal to take to the bank to start the loan process or everything that goes along with it? What if I fail, what if I make no money and I wasted all my time, money, and energy? I also think about how I loveeeeee teaching. Okay well I should say I LOVE the kids, not the political crap that goes on outside of actually teaching. There is just SO much junk that goes on these days in the school system. EVERY teacher I meet or talk to tries to talk me out of being a teacher. That's really encouraging. But if I don't step up and teach these kids, who will? So I keep thinking that maybe I should take a step back from my dreams for now and teach for a couple years to save up to open the business, but it's hard when I am so excited about it! Yes I love my students and teaching but I also love baking and I would LOVE to be able to bake all day for a living and share my goodies with everyone. If you know me at all then you know how much I love to bake for people. I would have people over for dinner every day or give away baked goods every day to people. Baking and giving it away is my love language. (Hope my hubby will appreciate that :) )  And I selfishly want to be the first person to open up a cupcake shop in Melbourne :) I don't want to wait a few years and by then there will be like 3 open!

Decisions, decisions....All I know is it WILL happen one day. Whether it is next year or in 2 years look out for Jenn's Cupcake Corner (still working on names, let me know if you have any ideas!!) I will continue to be praying about it and seeing what doors God opens and I would love if you would join me in praying for direction, confidence, wisdom, and strength! I can't wait to share this exciting journey with all! It really is a sweet and single life (although these days the singleness isn't so sweet...but that's a whole other blog!) One day it will just be a sweet sweet life. :)

Am I really meant to do this?

     This week has been one of those weeks where I ask myself if teaching is really what I am called to do. I have never been so discouraged than I am now. The chapter that we are learning in math is extremely difficult and the students are not understanding the concept. I feel like a failure as a teacher because my students aren't getting it. I rack my head for different ways for them to get it, but nothing is working! You're gonna laugh when I tell you that we are trying to add 3 numbers, such as 7+3+4. Easy for us, very hard for first graders. And that is easy compared to doubles plus one/minus one facts! Ugh! I hate the mentioning of them! Of course math is the first thing we do of the day and it always just starts my day off on the wrong foot. I end up yelling at the kids, because when they don't understand something they sit there like they aren't supposed to be doing anything and either stare off into space or talk to the kids around them. I hate the teacher I become in the mornings. I have had more crying melt-downs this week than I have had all year, from the kids, not me. lol The kids are frustrated because they dont' understand, I am frustrated because they don't understand, I'm upset at myself because I think I am doing something wrong, and I am mad that the curriculum thinks the students need to learn this because it really isn't developmentally appropriate for 6 year olds! I basically just feel anger when I think about our math curriculum right now! Teaching children to add should not be this difficult! You think that it's so easy to teach math to 1st graders but it's extremely difficult to teach something that comes so natural to you. Adding 5+6 is natural and automatic for us, but for my babies it's a foreign concept they are learning.

    The lord is definitely testing my patience this semester. I was listening to the Steven Curtis Chapman song Do Everything on my way to school yesterday and it says in one part of the song "God made you to do every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face." I was thinking about that as my day went along and when I became frustrated with my students I thought "would God be smiling if I yelled at them and was being mean just so they would listen or would he smile if I kept my calm and talked to them nicely but firmly." I think it's the latter. Sometimes there does require a certain amount of raising your voice to get students to listen, but I really want to be one of those teachers that doesn't have to raise her voice. I think you can train your students by using cues and other signals instead of yelling at them constantly. A lot of children hear yelling at home all the time and that's the last thing I want them to experience at school because they will just shut down when I yell at them. I am learning so much about behavioral management this semester and I can't wait to try them all out in my own classroom. Despite the fact that this week has me completely wore out and wondering if I can really do this for the rest of my life (well not my whole life because let's be honest, I want to be stay at home mom and housewife) I know that this is where I am supposed to be. The kids may get on my last nerve but I love those little rascals and I am going to be the teacher that bawls on the last day of class. I already don't know how I am going to say goodbye to them in a month. 


    Not much is going on in my life right now besides school. When I'm not at school I am home thinking about school, lesson planning, looking up ideas for school, baking for school, and doing homework for college( crap I JUST realized I have a discussions that's due tonight!!) I still manage to work in the nursery at my church and you would think that I am tired of being around kids after my long days at school, but somehow the nursery is my sanity. I spend my days with crazy 6 year olds and then get to snuggle with precious 1 year olds who I can tell all about how Jesus loves them.  It's refreshing :) I also enjoy working with this lady Janice on Wednesday nights. She is probably my mom's age and it's just nice to have older women to talk to sometimes. She is also a teacher so we have a lot to talk about :)  I am also learning a lot about myself lately. I realized after two intense conversations with good friends that I desire marriage way more than I desire God. I always knew this but never wanted to admit it really. But now that I have, I am trying my best to overcome this and make God my number 1 desire all the time. I want him to be enough. If I'm not content with only God now, I will never be content and getting married and having kids will never make me content. I can only be content in Christ. Some days it's hard but I take it day by day and pray every morning that God will be all I want and need today. Surely, but slowly I believe I will get there and truly see that I will be content with God and only him. I can say this over and over in my head and I know it makes sense, but there is a disconnect when actually living it and believing it. I have been so distracted lately with some things that happened back in January and I am praying and working on moving past those issues. I have spent a few days this week doing my quite times at my new favorite coffee/cupcake shop, Patticakes, this week and that has been really great. And I adore the cute little owner who was a teacher and is a christian! :) I am more than ever inspired to open and own a cupcake shop :) That's a whole different blog post thought :) 

     Well that's a little bit about what's going on in this little sweet and single life of mine :) I pray you are all doing wonderful! Remember I love you all, but someone else loves you way more! I hope whoever is reading this realizes that the stinkin creator of this universe made you wonderful and he loves you with an incredible everlasting love. You can never do anything to make him love you any more or less. His love is perfect, and all we need :) :) 

Love is the answer

So today my kids were crazy, wild, impatient, fighting, talkative, not listening, and downright bad BUT still they pull at my heart strings. Ever day it seems like my students are trying to marry me off. Today I heard "Ms. Fike you need to find a man, get married, and have kids so they can come to this school." They practically begged me today to get a husband. In fact the kids started chanting it at the lunchroom table. Where do 6 year olds come up with these things? And not one boy is chanting at me to get married, it's the 9 girls in the class. I guess it goes to show how early girls get the idea that when they grow up they have to find a man, get married, and have kids.  But one girl said "you can't get a man because then you'll leave me like everyone else does" Talk about heart breaking. I know that her mom and dad aren't together and I can only assume she has had some experience with men "taking" her mom away from her. I told this little girl that I wasn't going anywhere, man or not! She got the biggest smile on her face, hugged me and said ok. It really got me thinking about how much some of these kids just need to be loved on and sometimes that is more important than learning to add or read. Some of these kids go home to families that love them and encourage them, but others go home to broken families. These kids never hear their parent(s) say I love you, never get hugs, and are talked down to all the time. These poor kids would thrive if they were just given some love and support. It is SO SO SO important to take the time to show these kids that you respect them(so then they will respect you), tell them and show them that you love them enough to disciple them,and tell them that you will always love them no matter what happens, and that you believe in them. These kids think they can't do things and it is my job to show them they can because I believe in them and want to see them succeed.I wish I could just hug them and tell them all about Jesus and how much he loves them and that they can do "all things through Christ" Unfortunately I can't do this in public schools, BUT I can show them through my example. I can be a light to these kids with my actions and kind words even if I can't tell them directly about Jesus.

Life of a 1st grade teacher

To say that life is crazy right now would be an understatement.  I am working 40 hours a week and not getting paid for it (Internships are aweeessome). I am taking an online class. I work about 10 hours a week in the nursery at church. Yet with all of that, I am LOVING life. I wouldn't change a thing. As much as my 19 6-year-olds test my patience and make me want to pull my hair out, I love them all. They beg me to take them home with me, be their mom, tell me I'm the best teacher ever, and hug me non-stop. I love teaching them something new and seeing their improvements. I DON'T love all the unnecessary crap, and yes it is crap, that teachers have to do. Just let me teach. It is pretty ridiculous what they expect of teachers these days. I am learning a lot through my internship, but one of the the things I am almost sure of is that I don't want to teach in Gainesville. Alachua county has some interesting requirements for teachers that other counties do not have. But I may only get offered a job in Gainesville, which in that case I would take. But come April I will definitely be looking for jobs elsewhere :) I'm not thinking about that yet though because I can't even do anything until I graduate!

So teaching basically consumes my life right now. I come home and work on lesson plans, make smart-board lessons, or do homework for my class. Whenever I have free time on the weekends I am at the Gator football games or at church :) On my days off all I want to do is sit on my couch and relax! I am slowly gaining more energy though.  The first week of interning I went to bed by 8:45 every night! Now it's more like 9:30 ;) I also have a problem. I cannot sleep in anymore. On Saturdays I roll over to check the time on my phone and it's oh about 5:45 every time. I tell myself "you have got to be kidding me" So I toss around for a couple hours and am usually up by 7:30. It is really crappy. Oh well!! I usually get up and get stuff done around the house so I can relax later!

Another big thing that is happening in my life is weight watchers again! Round 2! I was trying to do it on my own, but it just wasn't working. I would lose like a pound here and then gain 3, lose .5...obviously not a good cycle. So I decided I needed more accountability and weight watchers worked well for me before so I was going to try again! I only got the online WW, so I don't go to meetings, but I do my own little weigh ins on Saturday's. I have been trying to work out more now that I am getting more energy and adjusting to my hours a little better. Now this will come as a real shocker to most of you, but I have actually gotten up at 5am and worked out before work. I know, mind-blowing. I am NOT a morning person AT ALL. When I wake up I don't want anyone talking to me for at least an hour! haha Seriously. BUT when you have to be bright and chipper with 6 year olds at 7:45 in the morning, you learn to become a morning person. So sometimes I just have to get the workout over in the morning. Hopefully I will stick to WW better this time because I am paying for it with my own money :) I also started reading this book called Made to Crave. It's about replacing your cravings for food with God. I am learning that I rely on food more than I rely on God. Food has been my comfort, joy, and reward. Instead of turning to food when I am stressed or sad, I should turn to God. Seems like a no-brainer, but sometime it really isn't. I never thought about it but the lady talks about how the devil uses food as a temptations for women. Look at the first sin, Eve ate what she wasn't supposed to eat. The devil used food to tempt her. He could have used anything else, but food is obviously something difficult for women. She could have had any other food she wanted in the garden but she wanted that apple. Sound like anything you've ever done? I want that chocolate chip cookie. It looks so good and I know it will just satisfy everything I am wanting right now. But clearly it is not good for me and the devil just twists my mind into thinking it will be okay if I eat it. The book suggests to pray whenever you have a craving for something you know you shouldn't eat. The other day I really wanted an Oreo. I had one on my desk during lunch and I sat and stared at it weighing my options to see if it was worth it or not. Finally I practically yelled at myself no and threw it in the trash! haha I threw it away and prayed for God to take away these cravings and prayed that I would crave to be with him more than I would crave that Oreo. It may seem silly to pray about not eating an Oreo, but it's sometime the little silly things that really work! Another thing I am learning from this book is to write scriptures on index cards and put them up all over my house and car and read them whenever I feel like giving in or giving up. One of my favorite is  "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial." It really helps to quote this to yourself when you want what you know you shouldn't have. Sure I could have that Oreo and I could think of a way that it would be permissible, but would it really benefit me? Is it good for my body? Will it satisfy my hunger? No and No. So yeah, basically I am learning a lot :)

This turned out to be WAY longer than I thought it would be and my roomie just asked "are you still blogging over there" I think that means it is time to sign off :) I am now going to go to bed at 8:30 :) Maybe a 5am workout! :) Have a great week ya'll :)

Whirlwind

Hi friends, it's been a while! Life has just been a whirlwind right now! I was at home for a couple weeks for summer and then I celebrated my birthday (the big 22, not that exciting), came back to gainesville the day after my birthday, and started internship the day after that! I haven't stopped since! My first week was super exhausting, fun, stressful, exciting, made me want to not be a teacher, and made me want to be a teacher. Just about any emotion you can think of I probably felt this week. I was overwhelmed with the amount of stuff teachers have to do these days! I was kind of praying that I won't have to teach for too long because I just want to be a stay at home mom! haha Honestly it made me want to turn around and never look back. But, like most all teachers, you don't teach because of the money, the politics, the parents, and the rules. It's all because of the kids. And these kids need solid good teachers in their life, so I truck on for the kids! lol I started out in 2nd grade at Glen Springs Elementary School. I really enjoyed my teacher and the 2nd grade team, but I had to end up switching schools only after 3 days there. My teacher's mom is very sick and so she decided it would be best if she didn't have an intern this semester since she didn't know when she would or wouldn't be at school, and she really wasn't in the right mindset to be teaching me along with a class of kids. I completely understand and I told her she needed to do what was best for her mom and that her mom was way more important than me! She kept reassuring me that I was wonderful and she was very sad to see me go and that maybe this will actually work out better and I will have an even more amazing opportunity to work in another classroom. At the time I was kind of not that excited to start at another school, but I was trying to go into it with a positive attitude.

So now I am in a 1 st grade class at Chiles elementary and I LOVE it! I for sure know it is where I am supposed to be! My teacher is great and we get along so well! We had meet the teacher on Friday and our kids are just the sweetest! I love them already! I can't wait for this semester! It's exciting to wake up and want to go to work every morning. I know it is going to be a stressful semester and very trying, but I know I will learn a lot and gain experience for my own classroom! One of the best parts of this is my teacher is probably going to be leaving next year to go teach overseas, so I told her I would just take her job next year! :) She actually interned at the school, and a lot of other teachers at the school also interned there. So I think I am at a good place that will hopefully help me get a job when I graduate! :) I'm excited for this semester, and there may be weeks that I want to run away from teaching again, but no worries, I'll always run back :) My kids need me and I need them!

Project 31, I haven't forgotten about you! Today's goal is to encourage a friend and inspire her beauty. So today I had this ALLLL day leadership training at church and the wonderful Miss Kyla led one of our breakout sessions. So as I was sitting there listening to her talk, I was just thinking about how great she is! Her talk was about loving people, especially the kids, and she does a wonderful job of that. I mean during out 5 minute break today where was she found? In the nursery visiting the kids. You can just see the genuine care in her eyes and smile when she talks to the kids and loves on them. You know she's just one of "the good ones." I was actually asked to also speak at the training, but I politely refused because I just am NOT good at public speaking, but Kyla, she did a great job! And she nailed like everything I would have even said, and said it probably 100 times better than I would have. Not only does she love those children, she is a fabulous cook, she is artistic and can paint, sew, and make basically anything, she is a great friend, and she is absolutely beautiful. Kyla, like Miss Bonnie told us today, is a peculiar treasure, and this is a GREAT thing to be! She shines Jesus' love. She asked herself and us what our mission was today and hers is definitely loving children and showing them how special and valued they are to God. And like she said today, we don't need to be doing more of everything, we need to be doing more of this, more of what your mission is. I think you are doing that Kyla. You are not only loving the kids at church, but your mission is so much more now, with your class at school. From one child lover to another, I thank you, for sharing in my joy of pouring love onto kids. Thanks for just being you! :)

Summer is coming to an end

Summer is almost over, but it's really just starting for me! School is over for 2 weeks and I am back in Melbourne! woo! I planning on going to the beach a lot, sleeping in, hanging out with my family/friends, and unfortunately I have some homework thrown in there to do! I know, homework before classes even start. It's just wrong. And how did August just creep up on me like that? This summer has flown by and I'm sure the fall will too!

I'm sad summer is coming to an end, but you know what that means? FOOTB

ALL SEASON! I loveee football season! Time for tail

gating, orange and blue clothes, lemonades at the game, and dying in the heat with 90,000 of my closest friends to cheer on our boys!

I'm also excited for away games, because I have found some really cute recipes that are football themed! haha Yes, I do think about these

things. But aren't they so cute :) But I also love making the typical football food, ya know wings, cheese dips, pigs in a blanket, pizza, grilling out, etc. Football time is just great all around!

So today's Project 31 is to post an outfit picture! So in honor of football season soon arriving, I've chosen game-day attire! :) I love wearing dresses because it is so hot out there

and dresses are so cool and comfortable! So here is one of my favorites that I will be wearing very soon and I'm thinking maybe a blue ribbon belt with it too! Ohhhh or a blue flower in the hair would be presh! I'm feeling a new craft project coming on! Making blue/orange flowers for my hair/clothes! Michaels here I come!

Day 13

Day 13: Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

Hum, there's a lot I want to change, so here's a few things...

• my exercise habits
• my eating habits
• my motivation
• my discipline
• my confidence
• my self-control
• my jealousy
• my impatience
• my lack of contentment
• my worrying
• my fears

And the list could go ON and ON. I think everyone always feels like they need to change something. And I am a fan of change. well sometimes....other times not so much. Like friends moving away that I won't get to see every week. not a good change. but hair color change=good :) which I will be doing in a few weeks! gonna be a brownie again! And losing weight change would be fantastic. But some change is VERY hard to do. Changing your whole mentality of how you view something or someone=hard. I'm learning that only God can change you, because I just can't do it on my own. He has to transform our minds and the way they think. And it's not an overnight thing, unfortunately. I wish I could just wake up and be a size 6, not worry about my future, jump to do homework a week before it's due, or be content with everything I have in life and not want more. But it doesn't work that way. Change is hard. The process sucks, but the end result is worth it. So change is good, eventually :) So I'll leave you with this verse I read today in the Message that stuck with me. I don't know if it really has anything to do with change, maybe, but I really liked it :) Enjoy!

Lamentations 3:22-33

22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

^31-33Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way:

Baking, Goodbyes, and Woes of Womanhood

So yesterday I wrote about those smore's cookies. Yup, made them tonight. I was trying to kind of tweek them a little bit because I didn't want to put a graham cracker under the cookie. So I crunched up some graham cracker and put it in the batter. Oh and was that batter good.

Ah, I just LOVE cookie dough. I could have sat and ate that whole bowl. I did have my fair share of it. I enjoy the cookie dough so much more than the actual cookie. yummm! Ok so I was super excited because the dough was delish and they looked great. But then when I made them they kind of fell apart... :( SO I had to end up using the graham crackers on the bottom and then they turned out MUCH better :)

I am bringing them to class tomorrow and I hope the kids I tutor will like them! It's our last day tomorrow. As much as I hate going to class

and making lesson plans, I am actually going to miss those kids! Especially my 6th grader who

has started opening up to me! He actually talks to me now and laughs! And my precious 1st grader who I adore...don't want him to go either :( This is just the week of goodbyes and I don't like it one bit. My favorite little family, the Graves, are moving to Orlando on Saturday. At least I know that I will see them again and they are only an hour and a half away, but still. Where will Lindy and I watch Bachelor or Grey's Anatomy, who will I beat in Bananagrams, whose kids can I steal to love on and get a kid fix, who will we visit when we're out at Barnies, and who will I find to replace them? No one. Sarah, Kris, Reagan, Tristan, and Camden are truly one of a kind and will be greatly missed here in Gainesville. I'm also hoping that it will only be a year long separation and I will move to Orlando next year :) hehe We'll see what God has in store for me, but I know that God has great plans for the Graves family in Orlando! I love ya'll!! :)

These are the crazy, fun, adorable, silly, lovable Graves Kids I love so much :)

So today is day 12 and my challenge is to write about what wears you out as a woman. Well, humph a lot of things wear me out as a woman! Makeup, hair, clothes, emotions, hormones, weight, and just life haha Honestly it just wears me out to be a woman! I can't pinpoint any certain thing. This week alone I have probably complained about 'womanly' things 20 times or more considering it is that happy time of the month. not. (that explains the need for chocolate chip cookie dough, not that cookie dough needs any explanation) So yes, being a woman is hard and sometimes I wish we all had it as easy as the men do! But most of the time it is great to be a woman! I am a woman, hear me roar! ;)

Recipes!!

So folks, this is the day I have been waiting for since I started this thing! Day 11:Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out. Pictures Please! Yes!! My specialty! I LOVE cooking, especially baking. I would bake every day if my wallet and stomach allowed me too! I really can't choose which recipes to share, SO I am going to share my all time favorite dessert and a 2 desserts that I haven't made yet, but look delicious! I will be making them soon, and maybe ya'll can too :)

So the first one is none other than my Peanut Butter Pie! If you haven't had this pie, then you are seriously missing out in life. This pie has won we not 1, or 2, but 3 bake-offs and I've even had a marriage proposal from a guy who tried it. Yes, ladies, the w

ay to a mans heart is through his stomach. Although, that hasn't proven to work out so well for me yet. But ONE DAY, my man will appreciate my skills in and out of the kitchen ;)

This pie is super easy to make and always goes over great at parties! So here's the recipe!

Ingredients:

1 Baked Pie Shell- I like graham cracker crust but you can use any pie crust you want!

1 large instant vanilla pudding

2 cups milk

1 cup confectioners sugar

½ cup peanut butter

8 oz. cool whip

Directions:

Using 2 knives cut peanut butter into sugar until well blended and crumbly. Beat pudding mix and milk together and put in refrigerator for 1 hour. Put crumbly mixture in bottom of pie shell, but save some to put on top of pie. Spoon in pudding and spread evenly. Cover completely with all of cool whip. Sprinkle the reserved crumbs on top of cool whip. Keep refrigerated until ready to serve. If you want to put in a 9 x13 pan double all ingredients.

And here it is, in all it's deliciousness :)

Ok, so that is my favorite recipe! Now onto more fun goodies! These are 2 recipes I just found earlier today that I REALLY want to make. The first is a Smore's Cake. Doesn't this just look like yummy goodness all wrapped in a nice layer of chocolate?

I found this on my new favorite site, Pintrest! Go check it out, Uh-Mazing! But anyways, here is a link to the girls blog that has this recipe on it! http://fatgirltrappedinaskinnybody.blogspot.com/2011/06/ultimate-smore-anniversary-cake.html

Going along with the smores theme because I love anything chocolate and marshmallows, are smore's cookies! These look to die for too! I think I am going to make them on Thursday for my last day with my tutee's at school! I told him I would make brownie cookie bars but these look SO much better! I also found these on pintrest and this girls blog has some really great recipes! I got like 4 other ones on here! The Cookie Dough Dip looks fantastic as well! So here is her blog and the recipe! http://fahrenheit350.blogspot.com/2009/08/rain-or-shine.html

Don't they look like ooey gooey heaven? yummm!

I hope ya'll enjoythese! I could seriously post every day about baking! How fun would that be! :) I'd love to hear about anybody else's favorite recipes or just something fun and new you tried! :) Happy Baking ya'll :)

Lessons I'm learning

Day 10: What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mother, friend, or just woman in general?

Well, lately I have been learning that I just need to let go of things! I tend to hold onto things for a LONG time, whether it be feelings, relationships, or just stuff! All of it is just weighing me down. It's very hard for me to just let things go. I mean I liked the same boy for all 4 years of high school and never let it go, even when he made it clear that he didn't like me in that way and we were "better as friends." Of course I still don't like him, but when a friend brought him up today it just brings back all those feelings of rejection and all the other insecurities. Why is it so hard to let these things go? It was YEARS ago and should have absolutely no hold over me. I don't dwell on it every day, but when someone brings it up, I can't help but feel like that 16 year old girl again. It's very easy to push this all aside because I don't ever see this person and this is the first time I've thought about him or this situation in like over a year. But it just reminded me today that I haven't really let it go completely.

I was also reminded of my lack of letting go in church today. During worship I was praying that I would let certain things in my life go and not be distracted by anything. Well then guess what? One of those distractions was at church! It's easy to push things away when you don't see them or deal with them. Not so hard when you actually see them. But I am learning over and over again that I just have to let all of these feelings and basically just crap that has taken over my life go. I am giving it to God because I sure don't want it. I am done dealing with it. I am done letting it consume my every waking thought. I am done. I am starting tomorrow with my first step of letting go of the stuff. And I mean actual stuff. I am going through my papers and desk and organizing everything. Time to de-clutter my life, so what better way to begin than with my room. Then I plan to go to Barnies and spend some time praying about the other things I need to let go of. I am quickly realizing the more time I spend with God, the more I am able to let go and feel ok about it. I can't run everything in my life and I don't want to try. God knows exactly what he is doing. If I don't let go of some of the things that my heart if full of, I can't make room for other great stuff! And I want the good stuff :) I want all of you to be full of good stuff too! So if anything is getting you down and you just feel like you need to let it go, then DO IT! We'll do it together! :) Love ya'll!

Virtuous

Well, this past week I did really well on my exercise/eating right plan. I worked out 3 days this week and I lost 2 lbs. THEN I came home for the weekend! Lindy and I brought our friend Caroline home with us and of course we took her out to all our favorite restaurants. And I hate going to a pace that I love to eat and getting a measly salad, and I love salad! But going to one of my favorite restaurants and getting salad or something I don't really like, but is healthy, just seems silly :) So I probably gained those 2 pounds back. But not to get me down, I'll be back on the horse when I get back into town! I just need to never leave Gainesville and I'd do fine! haha

I have been severely slacking with my project 31. oops. And I've been putting it off because I don't really know how to answer today's question. So here goes...

What virtues do you value in yourself?

Well.....I just looked up virtues (let's be real, who really knows what that is :) and it says moral excellence, conforming one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles, or chastity. So here's a random stream of thought of virtues I value in myself:

I'm a Christian and conform my life values to those of Christ's. I live according to his word and Jesus is my everything.

I'm old fashioned. You know all those jokes about women being in the kitchen and doing their duties of cooking/cleaning? Yeah, those don't bother me. I will be totally content being a housewife and taking care of the kids and having dinner ready when my man comes home from work.

I'm a virgin and proud of it. I will stay that way until the day I get married.

I can laugh about anything and can make people laugh, not by telling jokes or anything, but just by being my crazy self!

My love language is baking.

I'm mostly always upbeat.

I think family and friends are one of the biggest parts of my life, apart from Jesus.

I still believe in fairy-tales.

Yet, I know that life, marriage, kids, etc. will be HARD work and not always roses.

So I could go on and on. But that's all for now. Love you guys! :)

Fed up

I have been living in a state of feeling fed up and disappointed with myself for the past few weeks. I have everything I need to succeed right in front of me and I'm not using any of it. That's like a teacher giving you an answer to a question on the test and saying no thanks I think the answer is c, not b. Well, you're getting that question wrong! Why do we do this? We know it's right, yet we don't do it.

Paul says it perfectly in Romans 7 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." I seem to always choose to do what I don't want to do.

I want to lose weight, but why do I chose to eat the wrong things and not exercise. I know I can do it, because I have done it before. I have lost 30 pounds before and because I am lazy I have gained about 10 pounds back. I know how to lose the weight, I just don't do it. Isn't that just stupid? Yes, it is. I always say, I'm gonna start on Monday. Well Monday rolls around and I start out right, but if I slip up once I throw it all away for the week. I was thinking back to a friends blog I commented on a while ago and I gave him some advice that I really need to follow. I said that if you mess up you can't let that get to you because tomorrow is a new day and you just start fresh. I have not been living that. I have been living for those dreaded Mondays where time and time again I disappoint myself. I am fed up with it. I'm not living for those Mondays anymore. I will change and I will not be a disappointment anymore. I am worth it. I will make a daily habit of getting up and going to the gym. I will choose to eat right and not let my emotions control my eating. I will achieve my goal. And I won't do it through my power, but His. Lord knows I can't do this alone. I know that I can do all things through him who gives me strength. So look out world, here I come! Tomorrow will be a Monday unlike all the rest.

On another note, today is day 8 of the project beauty challenge! :)

Day 8: Have a beauty secret( e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!

Oh man, this one is kind of hard, but I thought of a few!

1. Use honey on your face as a mask. It is really sticky and a mess, but it makes your face feel super smooth afterward! I find that it works best to put it on like 5 minutes before you're going to get in the shower and then just wash it off in the shower. It's more messy trying to wash it off in the sink. I end up drenching myself in the process!

2. 2 words: Dr. Scholls! Buy them. Use them. Love them. They make heels so much more bearable. I love the gel ones. You can wear heels for hours and not feel like your feet are on fire!

3. Change shampoo/conditioner every time you buy a new one. Your hair gets used to the same one if you use it over and over. I have about 3 or 4 different kinds that I rotate throughout. Every time I change to another brand I feel like I have different, better hair!

Encouraging friends

I am really excited about this day of the Project 31 Challenge! Today's goal is to write a letter encouraging another beautiful woman. So here's to you looper :) Sorry in advance for all the pictures but there was just too many to choose from! :)

Taking in back to the days :) haha This was high school sometime! Sorry I had to bust out the braces, but we just look so young! haha

Lindy,

Where do I even being? It all started with Lauren's 14th birthday party, I think? Us sharing a chair and bonding over "bunny" and devil in a blue dress! haha You are and always will be my best friend. I don't even know how we went through 1 1/2 years of college living 4 1/2 hours away! You understand me like no one else does. You know EVERYTH

ING about me and yet still somehow love me. You are my constant support and always there for me. You put up with my off key singing of the wrong lyrics and my loopy crazy nights, Eleka nahmen nahmen, just had to ;) You will clean my entire apartment just because you want to. You make me laugh like nothing else. I don't think we can be together a

nd not laugh, just impossible. We may be annoying and giggly sometimes, but that's just us and I wouldn't change it for the world :) I love that you analyze every little thing, which can be good and bad ;) We share a love of Barnies, which is reason enough to love anybody :) I love that you just understand me. I can just look at you and you know what I'm thinking. I love that we will always have a special place in our hearts for JB ;) I can't really ever think of a time where we had a huge fight. We just get along all the time. I hate being away from you for an extended amount of

time. I don't even know if we've ever gone a whole day without talking. Okay, jk when I'm o

n a cruise. But that doesn't count because I didn't have internet or phone access so it wasn't by choice :) I know that we will be friends for a very long time and I can't wait for the day that we can raise our families together. Which brings me t

o another point. I especially can't wait until I can meet the lucky man who gets to marry you! I pray for him (and mine of course) a lot. I know that God has the perfect man already picked out and he is just preparing him now for you. We just have to wait a little bit longer for him to come! Like we used to say in high school "the longer the wait, the better the mate!" :) I'm still holding on to that statement! Maybe God has some twins or brothers picked out for us ;) haha We can only

dream right? I love you friend. You are a strong, beautiful, funny, intelligent, kind, giving, compassionate, and loving person. You are going to make a fantastic wife and mother one day. I can't wait to be around to see all that God has planned for your life. You are truly stunning and beautiful inside and out!! LOVE YOU! :) And here's to hoping your mom's prediction will come true ;)

Family, Fun, and Fireworks :)

Well friends, I am feeling incredibly blessed this weekend. It has been an amazing 4 days! Went from one celebration to the next. My brother got married on Saturday! YAY! The wedding was so wonderful! I am very happy to have gained another sister! I can't believe it's all over! They are off to Puerto Rico tomorrow for the honeymoon! We had lots of fun the next day with both families at the beach. I tried ocean kayaking and it was so much fun! I will definitely be doing that again! Then we celebrated fourth of July and my other sister-in-laws birthday! I had actually had two fourth of July celebrations! One with my family and one with Lindy's :) I just love fireworks!! I can still hear them going on outside my house at 12:30am! Fireworks can make anyone happy, seriously. Try to be mad and watch fireworks. You won't stay that way for long. I am SO not looking forward to going back to gainesville and class tomorrow. I just want to stay at the beach forever! I am in denial that I have homework due tomorrow. I don't exactly know when it is going to get done, but ya know I'll think about that, eh about an hour before class :) So instead of doing that dreaded homework I am uploading pictures to facebook and updating all you wonderful blogger friends about my fantastic weekend! And while I'm at it, here are some of my favorite pictures from this weekend :)

The Fike Kids, old and new :)

Addie and the puppies! She ADORES them! :)

Sorry I haven't posted this whole weekend on my Project 31, but I've been a little busy :) Today's questions is Has the World's definition of beauty ever jaded you. The answer is a big fat ridiculous yes. I don't know if anyone can say no to this question. Whenever we look at ourselves and see something wrong and complain about it and wish we were a different way we are comparing ourselves to what the world has defined as beauty. I think that it is a bunch of bologna that the world shows these woman all airbrushed and stick thin on t.v. and magazines. Real women don't look like that. Period. Real women got some curves friends. I wish that our world was like it used to be, I think during the Baroque or Renaissance when "big" women were the thing. You know you see those pictures of women that to us look overweight compared to current society's views, but that was what was popular during that time. A woman with a figure was to be envied. But nope, not like that anymore. I do let the worlds view of beauty get to me sometimes, but regardless it doesn't matter what the heck the world says. All that matters is that God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. He made me curves and all and I am not going to starve myself to look like those models on t.v. or criticize myself because I don't look like that. Who wants to be a size zero anyways, that isn't a real size ;) So embrace the way you look! Yes, I think we should be healthy and Lord knows I do have some weight to lose, but I am not doing it because the world says I am fat. I am doing it to get healthy and to take care of my body. I want to feel better and live a long happy life :)

Phew, done with that rant ;) Some of these questions get me going! Love you friends and Happy Fourth of July!

You Make My Heart Come Alive

So I started my blog tonight fully intending to only write my project 31 Post, but literally 2 seconds after I opened this new post, my best friend and I were texting about something, and I feel compelled to write about it.

So long story short I was talking about how the devil has just really been trying to bring me down these past few days. I have been having great quiet times and really feeling content and just great about everything in life. But then bring in a few difficult situations and all those peaceful content feelings were out the window. How can my feelings change so drastically? I have been letting the devil creep into my thoughts and make me feel things I shouldn't be feeling just because of something stupid. Well my friend said that I just needed to keep praying about it and I need to find new ways to spend time with God. The thing I loved that she told me was to "spice it up like in any relationship." Now, I am one of those crazy girls who dreams about what it will be like to be married and I have on more than one occasion thought about ways to keep the sizzle and spice going in a marriage ;) BUT I have never thought about doing that in my relationship with God. But of course. It only makes sense!! It is like any other relationship. I need to talk to him, spend time with him, and become close with him. It becomes mundane to do the same thing over and over. So, my goal friends is to think of new fun and exciting ways to "spice up" my time with God! And I want your suggestions! So seriously, anything you got throw them at me! I want crazy, fun, and lame ideas :)

Now onto Project 31. Today's challenge is to write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive. Jeeesh, hard question. Obviously I want to say Jesus, but I think we all already know this and it is self-explanatory :) Sooooo I have to go with my niece, even though she will probably never see this. haha My precious little niece, Addison, is 18 months old and just the cutest thing you have ever seen. See above picture.....She's a cutie. Am I right or am I right? It seems like just yesterday she was born and it makes me sad to think how fast she has grown up. Holding her for the first time is one of my happiest memories.

My heart was so full of joy and love for this little human being that I had just met. I cannot even fathom how I will feel when it is actually my child. Holy cow, I can't wait for that feeling. Anyways, Addie, is just amazing. I cannot wait to watch her grown up and talk more and be able to stay the night with her cool aunt Jen! Hopefully she'll have lots of little cousins one day to play with too :) It's amazing how smart she is and how quickly she learns. I am definitely a proud aunt! There is something so special about babies. I really love any babies, but the fact that we're related makes it all that much better :) I pretty much think she is all that and a bag of chips :) So thank you Addie for bringing so much joy to our family and making my heart come alive with love and joy :)

Rain Rain go away..

This week was supposed to be full of sunshine and lots of laying out by the pool so Jennifer could get a tan for her brothers wedding on Saturday! But nooo it has to be stormy all day. I even went to the pool a few days ago with hopeful spirits and about 15 minutes in was greeted with a downpour. I know we need the rain, but come on mother nature can't you wait until at least 3 in the afternoon? My soon to be sister-in-law is Columbian, who obviously has great tan skin, and my brother looks like he could be Hispanic. I will not be the pasty white girl in the pictures we're going to look at for years to come. So, I have resulted to going to the tanning bed tomorrow! Hopefully 3 days will make a difference! haha Yes I know this is pathetic and I don't care :)

Soo day 4 of Project 31.. Today should be easy. Just post a picture of your favorite outfit. Well for anybody else they could probably just pick a picture of themselves wearing something they like. But, if you know me AT ALL, you know that I absolutely adore clothes. I have an unhealthy obsession with shopping. I fall in love with clothes and I'm pretty sure my heart physically hurts when I find clothes I love and I can't buy them, especially dresses (gorgeous ones at Banana Republic right now, but they are too much $$. I hated walking away from them!) I have not bought something before and thought and thought about it so much I had to go back and get it. My whole day's mood can revolve around what I am wearing. I vividly remember what I wear and when I wear it. I don't like to repeat clothes within the same month. I am one of those crazy people that will notice when somebody wears something repeatedly. I can tell my friends exactly what they wore to every school dance even when they can't, right Erika? ;) . I remember memories based on the clothes I wore. My clothes just make me happy :) So to ask me to post a picture of my favorite outfit is seriously impossible. BUT there is one thing I LOVE to wear more than just about anything and that is....

PAJAMAS!! :) I know I just said that I love clothes, and trust me I do, but nothing feels as good as my pajamas. As soon as I come home for the day I change into my Pajamas weather it is 1:00 in the afternoon or 8:00 at night. And I love those Saturdays where I go no where and can just wear my pajamas all day long. I especially love the winters where I can wear my hoodie and fuzzy socks too :) So this is me: shopping addict, clothes lover, and pajamas wearer :)

Sunday Fun-day!

Happy Sunday everyone! Church was fantastic today! I have been out of town so much recently this is the first time in about a month I have been to First Assembly on a Sunday morning and it felt great to be back! I LOVE my church family. There isn't a week where I don't feel like Pastor Mike is talking directly to me in his sermons. I am feeling thankful today for a great church where the Lord is definitely moving!

Well today is day 3 of my proverbs 31 challenge! If you've noticed I am not really doing this EVERY day because well I either forget or don't have time, but I will try and keep it up! Today's challenge is to write about someone who truly inspires beauty. It took me a little while to think about this because I thought of a lot of people. But the winner is Ms. Emily Sullivan!

I had a really difficult time picking pictures to display of this girl! We met all the way back in Middle School and have been friends ever since. We had some great times in High School and then we both came to UF where we only got closer. The picture on the far left is from high school and this was our senior year Homecoming game. This is one of my favorite memories of the two of us. We had to make our SGA float for the homecoming parade that afternoon and I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my entire life! The picture to the left is from our Junior year of college at the FL/GA game in Jacksonville and the last one below that is from the end of our senior year at a friends birthday party. I just love this girl so much. She's seriously one of the most beautiful people I know inside and out. She has a heart of gold and is the most genuinely caring person I have ever met in my life. She isn't one of those people who says hey how are you doing and doesn't really care about your answer. She just loves people. I have had the great privilege to lead a bible study with Emily for the past two years and this had allowed me to get to know her sweet self even better! I have never heard Emily say a bad word about anyone. She is uplifting and encouraging and seriously I can see Jesus shine through her so brightly. I for the life of me can't figure out why she is still single and some great guy hasn't snatched her up already! I do know that her future husband is going to be one lucky man! I cannot think of a single better person for this blog post today! My life is better because of Emily Sullivan. She inspires me to love God more. She inspires me to work out because she is so disciplined with it. She inspires me to love people. She inspires me to work hard. She inspires me to be kind to everyone I meet. She truly inspires beauty.

I hope that you all have someone like my precious Emily in your life. She is a one of a kind girl! Jesus, thank you for the friendship I have in Emily! I hope everyone has a great Sunday! :) Love you!

Uniquely Me

Life is great! My week off from school is great and I am NOT looking forward to going back on Tuesday. The only good thing I am looking forward to is we start tutoring! Last year I tutored a 2nd grade boy, and he was just precious! This is me and him!

We had a lot of fun playing football and baking! This year I have two boys, one's going into 2nd grade and another into 7th. I'm nervous about the 7th grader. I just know that he is going to have some major attitude, which I cannot handle. Give me the little ones ANY day! I can just pray he will be a sweet kid who wants to learn :) ha ye

eah probably not, he's being forced to go to summer tutoring! Regardless, I am already praying for these two, that I will be able to help them become superstar readers and in the process show them a little love and encouragement.

I am really looking forward to tomorrow! Lindy and I are going to the Haile Farmers Market in the morning! Ever since we went to that farmers market in Atlanta I've been wanting to go! Then in the evening we have plans to babysit our 3 favorite kids. It's our friend Sarah's anniversary so we're gonna take the kids off her hands and let her enjoy the night with her one :) I am so excited to spend time with them because they are moving to Orlando in August so we won't get to see them as much as we do now. :( And the littlest one, Camden, is getting soo big! Can't believe he is 4 months old! There will be lots of baby snuggling tomorrow :) Isn't he just precious??

Well this was supposed to be like day 3 or 4 of Project 31, but I am a slacker and already behind!! geesh! So this is day 2! The question for today is What Makes you Uniquely You. I actually looked at this question when it was supposed to be day 2 and I had NO idea what to write so I kind of put it off. I find it really hard to talk about myself, especially positively. We all know how to put ourselves down, but not build ourselves up. So this was actually a good thing to think about. I basically decided that makes me uniquely me is my joy. I am naturally just happy almost ALL the time. It is VERY easy to tell if something is wrong with me. People in high school used to ask me how are you so happy all the time. Now, I don't think I am one of those incessantly bubbly kind of annoying people (we all know those people) I just love life and God is so great how could I not be happy. Jesus Christ sent his son to die for ME on the cross and he loves me unconditionally. I really can't even fathom his love for me. And he has already taken my sins, my fears, my failures, my worries, and my anxieties off me. They were on the cross with him. I don't have to worry because I know that God has overcome the world and he has wonderful plans for my life. So in spite of anything that is going on in my life, I can be joyful because the maker of this universe loves me. Isn't that just a great feeling. :) Another thing I thought of that makes me me is that I love to encourage people and cook for people. It bring me so much joy to invite people over to my house for dinner. I just love cooking for people! A lot of my college friends don't cook often and tell me they aren't that good at it. Whereas I love to cook and do it all the time. So I like to share that gift with others and bless them with a meal. I know I won't be able to do that all the time when I am married and have kids, so I'm having my opportunity now to do it!

Those are just a couple things that make me uniquely me. They may not be the most unique qualities, but they describe little ole' me :) So friends, what makes you uniquely you? God tells us that we are his masterpieces, his workmanship. He has made each of us unique and special in our own way. Go embrace your uniqueness!

Project 31

So I got this idea from a friend's blog, thanks Meg, and I love it!!! It's called project 31 and it's all about women being inspired by their God given beauty! So every day for 31 days I am going to post a blog according to the following list :) It's based off of Proverbs 31, which you can read here if you have never read it! It is a great passage in the bible that describe a woman of noble character :)

THE LIST:

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman

I'm really excited to start this and I hope it encourages some of you and maybe you can do this on your own too :) So here we go, Day 1!

What does beauty mean to you?

Starting out tough! I think that beauty is so hard to sum up into one single thing and I think everyone is beautiful in their own way. For a long time I didn't think I was beautiful and I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I was beautiful even if I wasn't a size 2 and didn't look like the movie stars! I am beautiful because God says I am fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalms 139:14) I think that beauty is confidence. Being confident enough to look at yourself and say that you're beautiful, shows so much beauty. Also, the love of Jesus shining through you is beauty. Beauty is also displayed through personality. If someone isn't the stereotypical "beautiful person" but is genuine, kind, friendly, loving, and honest..that is beauty. Beauty is so much more than our outward looks. I know we all have those bad hair days or days when we don't like any of the clothes in our closet. And if you're anything like me then your clothing choice for the day will make you feel 'beautiful' or not. But it's not about that, but about so much more. If you ever are having a bad day and don't feel beautiful, I encourage you to stop looking at your butt being too big, your boobs being too small, you broken out face, your thunder thighs, BUT instead look deeper, look inside and find something that is truly beautiful and makes you stand out! Chose to think about how you're a good friend, a good listener, great with children, encouraging, good in the kitchen, and a strong confident woman of God who has no reason to doubt her beauty. You are beautiful girl, inside and out! (and the guys who may be reading this) Embrace your beauty and go shine!! :)

The World is My Oyster..wait is that really a saying?

So friends, I went on a little road trip to Atlanta this weekend with the girls and I had an absolute blast!! Lindy and I went with our friend Caroline who lives in Sandy Springs, which is like 10 minutes from the city. Let me just say I LOVE it there!! All the houses are gorgeous and it's just so homey and southern! Everything in the south is better! :) I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to live somewhere like this! Now every time Lindy and I go visit somewhere we say "We're going to move here after college and get a job!" We said the exact same thing this time and it has really got me thinking. Since I am single, I have this opportunity to go where ever I want when I graduate in April! It is super hard for me to think about having to go be on my own. I always dreamed of graduating from college and getting married that same summer and moving into a cute apartment with the hubs and starting my real life. Well, obviously my plans are a little different from Gods. Although you never know what will happen in a year ;)

While in Atlanta, Caroline said that she feels like she is waiting for her life to really start and that for the past four years she has been living in this like waiting land and just waiting for her life to start. I realize I've been living that same way. College is just something I have to do to get a job and what not, but the two things that I have only ever wanted are to be a wife and a mother. So it's hard coming to terms with the fact that I will, in less than a year, be entering "the real world" most likely on my own. I've been waiting for that time to start my real life, but without a husband I feel like I can't start my life. I almost feel incomplete. Well my friends, change is a comin! I am living my life, RIGHT NOW! I am not in limbo land, just waiting for a guy to come sweep me off my feet! I don't need a man to make me feel complete and to make me feel like I can start living my life. I don't need a man to tell me where to move and what to do. I am a strong, independent person and I CAN and WILL be able to make it on my own. As much as it scares the crap out of me, I can do it with God and my friends/family.

So even though I have like a year to figure out where I am going to live next year, I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I keep getting asked the dreaded question "so where are you going to go when you graduate?" and my response "uhhh i don't know, a lot can change in year" See, that's my way of saying "I'm basically only waiting on a guy and hopefully he will get a job and I'll move where he has to go" lol I just want someone to tell me where to go :) lol That would make this a whole lot easier. But no, I get the privilege to do whatever I want! I could move to Atlanta if I wanted, or Nashville (another city I adore) because I don't have anything tying my anywhere! Lindy and I could pick up and move wherever, because Lord knows I wouldn't do it by myself! BUT the only problem is being so far away from my family. I don't want to miss seeing my niece grow up and I want to be there for any more future nieces/nephews. I want to be able to call my mom and go shopping on the weekend or have my family over for Sunday dinners. So, when it comes down to it, I honestly don't think I could move away from FL, unless my whole family wants to move to Nashville or Atlanta ;) But I also don't know if I want to go back to Melbourne right away either. If I were to move back to Melbourne and I was still single my parents would want me to live in their house, which I don't think I could do. It would be very difficult to live on your own for 5 years and then move back in with your parents. There goes my future dating life ;) So basically, who knows where I will be a year from now! I have a little time to figure it out. But I am going to embrace the fact that I don't have to rely on anyone else to make this decision but me! The World is My Oyster!

Welcome!!

Hi friends!! So I've decided to start a blog. I have been thinking about doing this for a long time, but something was always holding me back. Maybe fear that no one would read it, or fear or sharing too much about my life with people. But lately I have been reading about getting rid of fear in my life, and so this seemed like a good time to start this! And if no one ever reads this, but that's okay! It is a fun way for me to share what going on in my life. So enjoy :)

So, it took me hours, literally, to come up with a name for this dang thing! I began first by looking for backgrounds, because well that's what you first notice anyways! It had to be super cute and so ME! So of course I found this adorable cupcake template, which is perfect! So then the hard part, my blog name. My first thought was The Sweet Life because of the cupcake theme, but I thought immediately of The Sweet Life of Zach and Cody and didn't want my blog named after a Disney show. (Although we all know I love my Disney) So I ashamedly googled catchy blog titles and it didn't really do much. The Sweet and Saucy Life was a top runner, because well I am a little saucy sometimes, but something didn't quite sound right about that word to describe my life. So I was thinking and thinking and finally I thought of the single life! This one little word has been a key descriptor of my life for the past uhh almost 22 years ;) And it used to be a word I hated. I hated to be reminded that I was still single, and yes I have never had a boyfriend, never had a first kiss, and only in the past few months have I gone on a real date ;) BUT the tables are turning my friends. I am no longer seeing that at a bad word. Yes, I sometimes still feel that pain when some random person like my dental hygienist or the nail tech asks me if there is any special guy in my life and I have to say no, but that's only natural. I am embracing this single life. I am only 21 years old and it is okay that I have never had a boyfriend! I am being careful, picky, and guarding my heart. And I see nothing wrong with that. So next time someone asks me if I have a 'special guy' in my life and they look at me like they are sorry for me I am going to say "yeah, his name is Jesus, and his love is all I need right now. But I'll let you know when God brings me my second love." I am going to enjoy the most of these times because they won't be forever. There is a guy out there for me and one day when I get asked that dreaded question I will proclaim it to the nations, but for now I am going to enjoy my single-hood! So this is to enjoying life! I am going to go out with my friends whenever I want, take random road trips, and enjoy being my own person and being able to do whatever I want. This is the time to try exciting thing, be bold and adventurous. Sure, it would be great to do all this things in the company of a great guy, but for now I will do it with my girlfriends! Ok so, basically only Lindy, since she is one of my few single friends, BUT regardless we're going to have the time of our lives right now. I am going to live this crazy sweet and single life with God, following his plans and will. He says in Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. The Lord has great plans for me (and you :) ) and I just have to learn to trust him completely. I am not going to live in fear, but I am choosing to believe what God tells us through his word is true. He's got my back, he know's what he is doing and I don't. And for the first time in a long time I am completely okay with that. I want what God wants for me.

Well, friends, that was a long story to explain the title of this new blog, but I hope you stick around to hear about my fabulous adventures with my sweet and single life. And like everyone else I will let you know if either of those two things change. If my blog changes to The Sweet and Smitten life that will be a good indicator ;) Love you friends, but most importantly so does Jesus! :)